Spotted this shithot™ sticker (look closely) adorning Robbo's bike, over on the Mutiny site. Product placement yeah... On the subject of Robbo, check out this video that has been doing the rounds, of him and Roey up at some new park in Scotland. Looks mint! Who's up for a trip?

Last week was a wash out so these pics are even older than that, we are so slack that a lad even came over from Brazil to ask why it takes so long to update the blog, Denilson, I apologise and this ones for you...

I might not even have posted these if it wasn't for the fact we have talked about a "Wednesday away" trip tomo and thought it best to mention it on here first, ok, nowhere grand, in fact quite the opposite- the hell hole that is Leightonstone, but the park has been re built and rumours of it being "shithot™" have tempted us.

So tomo if everyones still in we will head even further East and skuttle back upon night fall to what I predict will be a few street beers down London fields, wear your best shoes...

Thanks to Orlando for the pics of annoying Jamie, various youth and sanctioned sticker usage, only took two weeks to send, and he run's a bike company?

Things to avoid mentioning: The weather, slack blogging, iPhone photos

Now thats out of the way I will crack on with the blog properly (while still waiting on Orlando's photos from last Wednesday- and this guy heads a company?).

Ross and Kye's bessie mate trail tour kicked off at Epsom this weekend which has already stressed Ross to near breaking point. After a Saturday dialing everything in to perfection and having a wee ride with some early comers the "pro's" left for a Weatherspoons beer and burger leaving us mortals to both tarp up and buy our own food, somehow we managed both, I guess it was The Heads lengthy explanation of how to pull a tarpaulin over a mound of dirt, thank god you explained it 'ey Head?

Alex,AKA Jay, AKA Chinese Alan, AKA Jackie Chan , kindly let the Beak and myself crash at his quite wonderful flat which to my great pleasure had all the correct condiments including coarse Sea salt and Pepper corns, how people survive without these basics I will never know...

Anywayyy... Kingston is a great night, so I am told, by a few folks, so we set off to meet folks at the first pub. Before we even arrived half the folks had moved on to chase clunge ("Yeah, my girlfriends gone back to Matt Priests hotel room, it's ok though, I'll let her, it's Matt Priest" ohhhh kaayyy... P.S. I hear it was Bob that did the deed in the end so gutted). After a quick pint or two we pressed on to the Hipodrome where the others had ended up, this place was basically hell, but on Earth. The only saving grace was watching Punto bump and grind with an urban girl until her dress slipped up exposing her red hot pants and wandering about and seeing Mulville with a different girl each time.

I wasn't expecting a few folks to be capable of riding the next day but surprisingly everyone was good to go and after a slow start a few wild things went down, inc. Anna Louises hip 270 whip in the wet which was so impressive Justin Bieber flew over especially to do a celebratory song, thanks Justin. Robbo and Fids also officially confirmed their "shithot™" status with Fids nothinging near every set in one run after only 20 years practice.

Oh yeah, and to hell with Kye Forte being a nice guy, after I heard Gav was AWOL I informed him I was free all week, to which he laughed, a lot, where was the joke buddy?

Finally, after putting it off for months and months, for reasons unknown even to myself, I finally got round to ordering a fresh batch of stickers.

A whole gang of monochromatic logo stickers, plus a slew of stickers with a shithot™ new design... literally. Should all be here by next weeks club night. Get em while they're (shit) hot.

Alliteration alert: Where went the weather? A wet windy waffer Wednesday was witnessed yesterday. Actually, to be fair (which you must always be), it was wet as the sky done a rain at about 4-ish, but then it dried up pretty sharpish, so all was well. Apart from the wind, but to be honest that didn't really affect much anyways... Waffer? Well, ok, that's a lie too, there was a good turnout after a slow start and everyone definately had fun, definately, I checked... This whole blog post is starting to make me look like some kinda Pinocchio type character, could explain the beak I guess.

Following a fruitful riding session, in which Shane showed us that he has actually been listening to his elders and managed to place his arms in the correct position during a back-wall N'ander, we ventured to the Grand Union, for one £4 pint. Bad idea. Then onto the the summertime hangout step. Good idea. (Note: Step not stoop. We are not American, black, or faux-hip-hop). Where we drank polish beers, ate chips, heckled passers by with inane (witty) retorts and Chris chatted up a lad on Grindr using Orlando's face. Good times.

Jasper is now official Wednesday employee of the month after taking numerous snaps of some things other than turnbars and wiggles (in a way) and getting the files across before the 10am press deadline this morning. Your ham is in the post...

Instead of pics we have a wee video from last week. It was a quiet club night and I really couldn't give two shits about riding, parks are less fun when you know trails are running, so I filmed The Beak doing the same run over and over again until I had it from all angles, well, about half the angles, but I didn't realise that until I got round to editing it, ah well....

Jere also made a welcome return, he's back in London for a few weeks so I think I'm going to make more of an effort this week to ride, and obviously drink, let's see if others can too... (yep that's a roll call).

Oh and don't worry, it's still all done on iPhone... (3GS)

I'm not even going to mention the lateness of this post, a wobble and a turnbar are timeless right, so who really cares?

The sun continues to shine and the beak continues to be keen, as this series of photos from new local Ed Salter shows. The week just gone was however a right off which can only be blamed by London offices keeness to shut early so staff can go watch the football, aka drink beer in a pub. After a couple I tried having a spin but my reaction time was about 2 seconds back from where it should be and I pretty much stacked it going round a corner, not great. I think there were a few folks riding inc. Louie (who made this shithot™ edit of Gav), but I binned it off for cheesey chips and went to meet everyone in another pub where we proceeded to watch The Beak fall off doing a 180 and trip over a pile of bikes, giving a Frenchie stick for being a cheese eating surrender monkey and getting Shithot™ £1 pizzas from Carolinas on the way home.

Let's see how much more of this summer lark we have left ey?

Great, not more photos from that bloody fake film effect iPhone app. Yep... and you'll need to get used to it as I'm sure there will be many more to come. Go on the hipstermatic!

Wednesday saw a host of firsts. Well, okay two. First off was the first ambulance at a club night - Colin bounced his swede off the concrete from the top of the big bit of the bowl, doing a cut or two. Second first was the first post riding pub sport session at the Constitution, featuring darts and pool. Which, being northern and keen and competitive, I was best at and won. Obviously.

After Johann and Chris got bored of loosing we ventured into the beer garden, only to be joined by a guy who took the concept of going off on tangents to new levels. He talked at us for roughly 20 minutes. In this time I managed to grasp that he was a master-craftsman carpenter, invented drum & bass, was really really into canals and canal based facts, would quite happily kick down someones door to kill them, was always under the influence of alcohol, thought we all made cartoons but not like Tom & Jerry because it's deemed to violent nowadays, was quite possibly bi-sexual, used to hold up booze lorries, wasn't a chef at the pub having a fag break despite what my brain initially decided, wasn't chinese and left us with the wise words that; "You gotta grab life by the neck and make it suck you d*ck". Fair enough.

Hoooo eeeeee.... what a weekend, the sun came back with a vengeance, baking the city and driving everyone a little crazy. I bailed on all the beatings (Bricklane) and shootings (London fields) surrounding the village and got the hell over to Epsom Saturday and Sunday.

Saturday was great, the near infamous Merlin Gary Mason was down with the Brighouse guys proving he was all growns up and could still ride trails despite is cumbersome overly large head. It's also worth noting that The Poof shredded the small line looking like the camp division of the SS.

After a wobble and a wheelie it was time to head back to town for Marv's video premier at Jag Shoes which I would love to say was awesome, but I didn't see a damn thing as I was too busy enjoying the free beers courtesy of Volt BMX ("I didn't 'av a clue how much drink was, I just said some ov the ones in green bottles and some ov the one in the big bottle that looks like wat'a" Dye) cheers guys! I bumped into Benson and Blyth on my way out, the later of which I hadn't bumped into since his short hair-ruffled-at-the-back days, which my exclaiming of caused much frivolity, which I am duly sorry for Tom!

I should of probably taken it a bit easier with the free beers as Sunday wa a bit of a write off riding wise, still, not all lost as I made a shithot™ BBQ and cooked up some veggie hot dogs while watching The Head get bat shit crazy on the trails- which are running the best they ever have thanks to all the work put in over winter by The Head and Booky ("I don't need some 13 year old twat on the internet to tell me I'm a prick, I know perfectly well thank you!" Booky) and a few other's (mainly me).

Go on the summer!

Slow one yesterday, despite the O.G Witch announcing it was too busy and 'gay' for him and leaving after 3 runs. I am not entirely sure where everyone was, better things to do? I think not... Those who where loyal enough to show their faces had a bit of a roll then headed off to the pub pre-park closing time. Which is a novelty, especially for a keen-o such as myself. (I guess I'm as equally keen on Amstel).

It wasn't all early beers and no bikes, oh no. We managed to cram in an interview, hear Jack tell us 3 of the gayest jokes ever, listen to stories of Shane being a peado (but only for a year), hear Pete tell us that he would suprise sex the shit out of "those shit hot lasses from the H&M bus shelter posters" if only he could get his grubby paws on em. Plus, Jaz managed to take some photos that look like we rode a lot more than we actually did - including a timewarped photo portraying the bowl in the Cretaceous Period, go on the T-Rex!

No need for tale tales or waffling here, just a series film snaps (who was it who said digi photos are the foam pit of photography?) from a week or three ago when the sun was out and the air was warm, much like tonight, see you down the bowl, mine's a Red Stripe.

I think I must prefix this blog by stating that it is going to be written without an ounce of sarcasm and without a word of lie, which to be honest are the two things 90% of the other blogs are made up of. I really didn't see how this was going to work out - Federal/Seventies had hired a warehouse space in East London and planned to put on a night show casing their latest bikes and frames... like anyone cared right?

Well, turns out folks did... either that or the fact the beer was free... and the place was packed. I think it was organised with help from a bunch of fixie cunts, who actually turned out to be really nice and the same fixie cunts who I hitched a ride to Empire of dirt with a year or two a go where we all had a thoroughly enjoyable time, I guess less fixie cunts more fixie-really-nice-people. There were a shit load of industry people there, somewhat obviously, I think I remember some lass from a PR agency asking if I was taking pics for a blog or something and although I told her I was I flat out refused to divulge the URL, not entirely sure why but there you go, Lacey was there with a bottle of Moet in one hand and his new frame in another, either he was on Valium or he is actually fairly sound...

The place kicked out at 10 and everyone made their way round the corner to The Birdcage on Columbia road to watch Dan Dolan belt out a rendition of "Scat man" on Karaoke.

I'm still not sure how it all worked out, or how this post contains no sarcasm, but you know what? Cheers Seventies... you put on a good night.

P.S. I'm really into Mutiny Mystics in 21'.

Summer is mere moments away, the sun is a regular visitor, and the streets and roads have been dry more often than not, all sounds great I hear you say? Well it for most reasons but the amount I can get pumped on the bowl is actually inversely proportionate to how warm and dry it is. I would do some awesome info graphic to really illustrate this fact but right now but I really can't be bothered. It's like when the sun comes out I just want to kick back with a few beers, oh ok, and ride trails but the jokers who run the railways won't let bikes on after work so that idea's down the pan. So with all that in mind this weeks club night was a little lack lustre for my liking, not much you wouldn't guess happened, beers were drank, the beak did enough tricks for all of us and we explained to the youth why it wasn't ok for them to ride the bowl with headphones on. Ross and Shane mustered a "hammer" each, Ross' being his signature move the Rosslecopter™, that combined with the awesomeness of GIF animation and you get maybe the best thing I have seen all week, note the background punters. Enjoy.

Oh, top tip for today: When shopping in American apparel use the Shoreditch branch and say you work locally, 20% off, Giggsy!

Where to start? It was a pretty shit hot™ club night this week despite a low early turn out. God knows where folks were but stickers and membership cards are going to have to be handed in from certain individuals if they carry on with this behaviour.

Rob turned up with some awesome spare pizza's procured a shoot where some genius ordered 10 16inch pizza's for 11 people of whom only 2 were straight males and the rest were models or poofs, worked out pretty shit hot™ for us though and after a good tuck in a little bit of riding commenced. There was a rather large number of "yuth" knocking about the bowl which was pretty annoying, a few Urban types and some very oddly dressed pre teen girls, kids these days ey?

With most the bowl regulars away it turned into a street session, obviously I was about as interested in that as I am listening to peoples opinions on the Election when they spell "when" without an "h" so I went at got some beers. A few people did some wobbles and some clangs and there was a bunch doing wheelies to twizzle, but really, when a cold beer is in your hand, who gives a shit?

Now (then™), when kicking out time rolled round I was pretty much ready to go home as was feeling beat, but a few others were keen for more beers so I mustered the enthusiasm and we all headed to the lock where it turned out there was a fairly good band playing who also served cup cakes after the gig, nice touch but my interest in cup cakes is up there with my interest in street riding. Ross peaked the interest in some northern lasses who sounded like their bezzie mate Cheryl Cole and before you could say "stop stealing our jobs you eastie caunt" an impromptu party was organized back at Ross's, well, I say party, more drinks... we lost a couple of the group on the way back which caused a bit of panic but it was all sorted after a few phone calls, turns out the lad was in some pop group called Babyshambles and had to get up early to play the next day, not very rock and roll is it? Rob and myself went out on a booze run with MC Hammers love child and found a near local shop where they would only sell beer on the sly as there is some rule against it at that time of the morning, after a bit of bartering we headed back and proceeded to neck said beers. The night finished around 4 with Rob and myself escaping the flat for fear of girls with hungry eyes (they are not made of wood) while Ross grabbed the cat and kept it going til 6am, prob not a good idea on a school night but it kept us all drunk til Burrito club the following lunchtime... if feeling a little sick.

Go on the speedy blog! This might even be a record, Wednesday update, before midday on a Thursday, best get Norris McWhirter on the case... After Jaz-Witch set the precident by emailing over some snaps, last night, while everyone else was having fun at the pub, I figured I better get my finger out.

Pretty good turnout last night - by pretty good I mean no jokers, except a edgy PC Moto on a bike that's too long for him, Rob Rupert Loeber on a new Rupert mobile and a full suit of Witches (or is that a cackle of witches?).

With yesterdays rather balmy night air we managed the first outdoor pub session of the season, with only a couple lowering themselves to the old 'street beer in a pint glass' trick. Johann managed to steer me away from my '15" pizza after the pub on Wednesday' obsession with the offer of more beer and BMX videos, which I graciously accepted.

I can't think of any more in-jokes to write, so I'll move swiftly onto monetioning the premier of Animals new DVD, 'Cuts' that Dye is putting on this Sunday just up from Volt. Look for a full review here next week. I for one am really looking forward to watching a load of hip-hop-go-slow-stiff-caunts, faffing about on thick sticks, thank god its at a bar... See you there.

Guest editorial for Wednesday club today, from a gob shite that doesn’t even ride, lives with 3 gays, 3 cats, some foreigners and man with a beak. This blog is gonna be sheite.

Well this week the two least eager riders managed to ride, myself and John both had more than two runs. Main reason being that there was no underage girls to look at playing footy (they swapped them for some mutant lesbian looking things) so no distractions, plus it was blazing squad (hot) outside.

Everyone was having a good ride, plenty of eagerness. The Beak (now then Ben) had to impress the boss otherwise Roti stops and Red-o cans would be off the agenda on future visits to the shop if he were to get his P45. Shane “dun watch dat” was in full effect, from "streets bled youth" to now, trying to look like a cross between Brian Wizmerski and Garret Reynolds. How did shane get on at the grand national last week anyway? Here's a snippet of a convo he had with Jazzy Jackson.

Shane: “It’s my birthday today”
Andy: “Yeah what did you get?”
“I got money, clothes, sex and a joint”
“what your mum gave you all that”
“Nahh my bird gave me sex and I gave myself the joint”

Mint, I want to take him back up to Grimsby next time I go home. The Poof was also on form, not actually riding because he couldn’t manage to fix a puncture, but it’s not a problem because he had his laytex gloves with him. Dad kit. After that the usual pub call happened where Ben Fogle and Huge Laurie's body and poshness doubles were both out in full affect. After establishing we weren’t in a band, weren’t skaters but were British we had to have that painful explain-off about BMX, to non BMX people. The sort of conversation you avoid at work. Fogle came out with a corker, “Right OK, I get that this BMX shit has an extreme element to it but cricket IS cool”. Yeah maybe if you are compairing it to a downie mate.

I ventured back to my hometown of Grimsby this past weekend, much to my mothers delight, where I managed to squeeze some riding in between roast dinners and meals at country pubs.

The trails in Cleethorpes that I used to ride ride before moving down here have just started riding in this last week, notably the new lines, running in the opposite direction to the main sets, that have been built over this past winter. The opposing direction is a god send, given that GYPO's have always been plagued by the wind - now there is a choice if the wind prevails in one direction or the other.

I took a few snaps on the iPhone, including some of the tech spades that local lad Paul made - about £100+ of stainless in those buggers! Privileged! Also take a look at this quick video of Saturday, which main grafter Sass put together...

I'm not even going to start with how this blog is a bit late, has one ever not been?

Anyway, near two weeks a go was our attempt at a jam in celebration of Ross hitting the big 3-0, only problem is no one cleared it with the weather and with rain from Sun to Tues already chances were looking bleak.

Luckily none of us are soft and we headed to Camden anyway with height poles and hop bars in toe. Somehow the whole park was dry and I got busy retracting the previous warnings I had sent out to people planning to come, ten mins later and we were running from sleet and rain...

With the park fully washed out we dug deep for a backup plan and took the hop bar and copious amounts of Lambrini to a bridge halfway between the Lock and the skatepark where we set up to run the hop contest, regardless of wind and rain.

Predictably the Beak won the highest comp maxing out at a wind restricted 38, Brazel came a very close second with around 36 (and also managed to land x-up from 34 or something). I managed a whopping 26 which I was actually proud of until Dye laughed at me for it and said even he could manage that and he can't bunnyhop, like I claim to be able to...

With low numbers and increasing wind and rain we called it a day and went down the Lock to meet other folks and to get on with what we were all out for really, drinking.... I think it's safe to say the Wednesday to Sunday drink-a-thon did Ross's 30th year passing proud.

Also of note, Volt have their team page up now where the Beak admits to owning not one, but two fixed gear bikes, on a BMX site! What a fixie caunt...

My weather vein (numerous internets) say that tonight is a right off. But never fear, next Wednesday will be splendid as we are organising a jam, of sorts, why? Well it's Ross Tempura's birthday on the 31st, he needed to get together a load of people to look like his friends on this landmark occasion and seeing as though nobody really likes him, he needed a hook, this is it.

Join us at Cantelowes, from about 6.30 onwards, for a poorly organised shambles of a jam on a school night. Featuring:

HIGH HOP - Yeh like no-one has done one of these before
HOLY AIR - Get close to god
FOOT DOWN - What is this? ..2005!?

Lame prizes to be won (donations welcome)

If it rains, then we will be in the Lock Tavern or something similar, involving beer.

Vague Enough? Good.

Spring is finally here! The bottom of the bowl was pretty much dry and if you where keen enough, riding in just a t-shirt was just about possible on Wednesday night, but as per usual most people chose to faff about on the decks drinking. Pete made a triumphant return from spring break, with half a tan and much less than half the stories than we could have hoped for, dissapointing. Jaz managed to pull himself away from his weekly boxercise class, and took a few snaps, which almost makes this a legitimate blog post for once. Go on the Jaz!

Keep the 31st of this month free, it's a Wednesday, and its Ross' Tempuras birthday... So he is organising some kind of unofficial jam / booze-a-tron. More info on exactly what is gonna be involved is imminent. Hopefully Ross' fellow eastern euro mates, who myself and Chris met on Wednesday evening outside the chippy, will make an appearance.

"Do you guys want this mat to sit on? You can have this mat"
"Nah, we are ok thanks lads, keep the mat for yourselves"
"Do you guys know anyone who is like, MC or anything. I do beat box. I was beat box champion"
"Er..."
"Buh brrr buh buh ba ba... buh brr buh buh ba ba."
"Yeah, no mate sorry, we don't"
"Buh brrr buh buh ba ba... buh brr buh buh ba ba... chica chica"
"Sorry, we don't know any MC's"
"Buh brrr buh buh ba ba..."

Oh, yeh actually, now you have continued to beat box, I now do remember that infact I do know an MC, and just got the wrong end of the stick before, until you so kindly persisted in spitting everywhere I didn't realise you meant beat box. But now I do.

Well it was another cold one this Wednesday, and pickings were maybe on the slim side, no, not slim, lean, leans a better word as it has fewer negative connotations. The main problem at the moment isn't the odd Turkey clucking about the bowl, no, it's the fact that it gets too damn cold to ride after 8p, unless you are captain el keeno (the beak) or a hippy (Simon).

Surprise of the night was Jack taking time off his grinder app (homo radar) and actually doing something decent on his bike by wall-riding out a shitty flat bank onto the grilled fence. In the spirit of change I also threw down some amazingly awesome moves by borrowing a bike with spaz poles and after firing out feebles both ways, moved on to smith grinds, yeah i am that awesome. While the majority of us were braving the near icy weather a couple of regulars escaped to sunnier climbs. Dye is currently sunning himself in Thailand and no doubt grumbling about something "bah.. it's a bit hot and pleasant, and this sand get in between my toes.. gaaarrr!" and Pete is off on his honeymoon with Mandeep to Cancun, where spring break is coincidentally in full flow. Pete mailed me this snap of him and Mandeep on the beach taking in a bit of the local culture, it's any ones bet who will be the first to sleep with a woman, prob Mandeep... 

Despite all this sounding like tall tales there isn't a single falsehood in the above text.

BMX is about going fast as shit and jumping stuff. At least in my eyes. Anyone who disagrees is wrong. Very, very wrong... In light of this, may I lead you to this series of rad photo's that Wednesday (not so) regular (but has been a couple of times) Rich Baybutt sent over, from a recent trip that he and overwhelmingly large number of riders took to the south of France, via a good number of racetracks. Good stuff.

See the connection now? Racetracks, fast, jump stuff? Nope? Idiot, piss off and manny to bars that 3 stair. Soft.

There are a few shots loitering up there, but you can check out the full gallery of photos from the trip here, take a peek at the rest at Rich's full portfolio while your at it. You might even see a few familiar faces.

A wise person once said, "Brrr it's cold in here,the must be some Torro's in the atmosphere" well, when I say great, I mean Kirsten Dunst in Bring it on, but she was half right, it's shit house cold right now.

With bones rattlin and teeth shaking a fair few brave soles headed out to "The Spot" on Sunday for a flap about. A few secret handshakes and secrecy waver signings and we were good to go. This was my first fully sober Sunday down there which was a nice change, I'm not sure if Jimmy Loughnun escaped the green haze that engulfed his van and Dye was keeping the Analyst on his toes with run counts, don't call it a come back? Hell, even Dye is...

As Ben would say "shit hot", if it wasn't for the bitter cold and murder scene it could of been mistaken for a pleasant summers day, but to hell with it, I binned it off home for some cheese and wine.

"Oi Chris... here are some snaps. do a blog! No riding ones. None. Fuck it." Well, thats a good a start as any I guess, was this really the first Wednesday session since November? Good ol' England, maybe there is some sort of connection between the fact that its been wet, cold and shitty for the last 3 months and the fact England has the highest number of teenage pregnancies in Europe? I'm not sure, all I do know is neither have anything to do with me, so I am in the clear.

With it being half term and all, I was expecting the night to be a right off, but thankfully the kids stayed out of the bowl leaving it free for us to sit around grumbling and sipping beer, except me, as I am having a beer and grumble free February, yes.

My non drinking continued in the Lock Tavern, where even Dye made an appearance, a few cocktails later he was dancing on tables like it was Coyote Ugly all over again (that may be a slight exaggeration).

Upon leaving we were accosted by two separate groups of drunks girls (their eyes arent painted on) and a couple of folks decided it was a good idea to let them take their bikes, in the usual boring half flirty way girls do which usually just results in whoever has leant there bike chasing a drunk girl as she wobbles away on said bike. Luckily these ones didn't wobble too far before it all proved too much and they decked themselves, nice work lass's...

Bloody winter! One day of sunshine yesterday tricked me into thinking we had seen the back of that miserable sod. It would seem not... However, after watching this video that Paul sent through to me this morning, I'm in slightly better spirits and looking forward to wearing shorts again and warm Wednesday sessions at the bowl.

Paul bumped this together with footage he got from a couple of Wednesday sessions last year. It features most of the regulars, some not so regulars (the Head) and thankfully doesn't feature any of Posh Chris Which is a relief. Take a peek.

Once you have watched that, watch this.

Oh my dear god, it's on?

Moving swiftly on from any theoretical parenthood figures and any controversy that could ensure from this, it looks like it might just, maybe, could well be, "on" for tonight.. Sun's out and the snow is holding off. There are rumours of sleet at 6pm but lets just ignore that.

To bolster the mood even further here are a selection of pictures taken on a Lomo from a different trip to Barcelona featuring Merlin Gary Mason, Chris "Warhammer" Keenan, Annoying Will Herman, Mark Potozny and last and by no means least, Billy big bals- Mike "Baywatch" Netley. If Netley doesnt quite look as big as you know he is compared to the other people in the photos just remember that he is at least one mile further back in the photos even if his feet tell you otherwise...

See y'all Down Camden.

November. November was the last time I rode my bike, I can't fucking believe it myself, that makes me nearly as soft as a fake BMX photographer. The Beak was in near the same boat with only a stint over christmas and a couple of cheeky "Scotts ramp" sessions under his belt. So as the moons aligned and he reached that rare moment in which he was yet to start drinking and had fully sobered up from the night before, we decided to venture to the near mythical "Four feathers" skatepark, located somewhere within a youth centre in Marleybone.

Emails were sent round and a few were up for it, Team 2000's solo representative Dom was getting very excited and even threatened a one foot wable. Rob was still taking it easy after his foot coming off and The poof was doing a poof.

The "park" is in an sports type hall, with a 5ft quarter and flat bank one end, a four foot quarter and flat bank at the other and a mellow as shit 4 foot spine in the middle. Oh, and various groups of urban youth milling about. There isn't much to report from the park, its pretty shit, but at least we rode for once. As usual the youth wanted a go on our bikes, they didn't seem too aggressive and since we were behind locked doors it should be alright, right? They could tell we weren't fully convinced, so to prove they were not going to try and nick them, they gave us their mobile phones and £400 in cash, yes, £400 in cash which they just so happened to have on them. (I'm guessing it was either savings that they had just withdrawn from the bank or one of their birthdays and they have a large and generous family which tend to send money rather than buy presents?). Turns out they wernt any trouble and after dropping in and screaming like girls they got back to being urban and smoking doobies, which we were later blamed for by the Youth centre manager (various groups of urban youths, or the well spoken older BMXers? hmmm... ). After a few more bar turns and a lack lustre game of horse; "go backwards? are you fucking kidding me?!?!" The 'session' was over, and we left the building. But not without another warning about smoking doobies - "Yes, yes it was us, we have knives too by the way..."

We finished off the night by heading back to the Grand Union, which turned out to be a bit of a left turn as it was full of basics and punters, mixed in with the odd cunt with wearing wooly hats with peaks on the slant like they are so fresh out of Bristol they still have Massive Attack ringing in their ears. Ross inisited it was something to do with the Vet school just up the road but I was pretty sure it was Prick school that had just kicked out....

Not much has been going on of late, hence the slackness on the old updates - partly due to our focus on heavy drinking but also coupled with the fact that it's cold as shit, and the bowl has been wet or snowed under for about 5 weeks, at least. Where the hell is Summer, I'm bored of this already!

In rubbish BMX based news, a new company has emerged, FULT, you may have heard of them. They like putting 15 wallrides from flat over something or other, in one web edit, and illegible fonts. Great. Speaking of web edits, Dye has put together one of these, with bits and bobs of some Wednesday regulars dotted about there. Take a look... And speaking further on the same subject, Chris actually made a start on our Barca, Bezzie Lads on Tour trip, 8mm footage, edit. 2011 release?

Oh, we might even have a Wednesday riding update after tomorrow. Maybe. Watch this space!

Yep, a Christmas party! This coming Wednesday... Wednesday style. Which basically means that we'll do exactly the same as every other week, but drink more, and eat food other than chips. Sweet.

Check out the flyer (thanks to Rob for that!!) for more information, but to summarise - bowl at 7-ish, bunnyhop comp at 8, Grand Union at nine for food and beer, then on to wherever (Lock Tavern? Proud?) afterward for more drinks. We plan on booking an area / table at the Union, so if your intending on coming, please RSVP in the comments so we know how many to expect!

The only sour point is that BBC are forecasting light snow on Wednesday, and it looks like being about -2 degrees. But I'm sure we can work around that. (i.e. Pub o'clock might be brought forward an hour or two.)

EDIT: It's still looking like snow, so I took the liberty of booking an area at the Grand Union for 8pm... Be prompt please! Haa

With this Wednesday™ being a washout, riding truely is thin on the ground ATM. I think we say that on here almost as much as we apologise for the crap photos and the late blogs, I've got one to write from about a week a go and I'm actually just going to lie an pretend its not late, hell, you can write any old crap on the internet and people will believe you. The place is full of liars.

I remember at its peak, when evvveeerryone was on the internet and MySpace, you used to get random friends requests off girls that looked hot. I remember getting one of this girl and she was in a bikini and she looked pretty good. I think I showed her profile to Netley and he was like "dude, shes fat" and I was like "she cant be, I can see her whole damn body!" and he sent me a photo of her and she was a beast, and he was like, "told you she was fat! castle did her".

So if I was to tell you that John Dye has mellowed out, grown a mullet, switched from coffee to pills and has started going to the East London 90's power ballard raves you'd be all like, "thats complete bullshit" but then when I threw you this link to his latest Union web edit you'd be like "oohhhhhhhhhh..."

Following on nicely on form from Chris' previous post, here is a late update from last week. Personally I'm blaming the Stumpweasel for this one, he said he would 'do a blog' last Friday, then changing his mind to Saturday, then to yesterday without any of his promises materialising. Slacker.

So what happened last Wednesday? Guess? Yep, correct - bowl, chips, beers, stunts, pub. Yeahhhh. In that order, pretty much.

There was a pretty good turnout actually, for a blisteringly cold November evening. No jabroni's either. Perfect. Word must be out. Only a couple of stunt pictures I'm afraid, one of which I stole from the Union site, and the other is of me, test riding my new bike. White and ice blue, very season specific.

This is good, and completely unrelated.

It was bloody windy on Wednesday, but it didn't really affect things too much. The eager ones rode, the slack ones drank beer. Usual story. Then we went to the pub for some much needed beers in the warmth and a heated debate about both English and Yank culture / history, with some American girls, Chris was in full flow, naturally.

No photo's this week I'm afraid, instead we have a delightful collection of moving images. No, I do not mean animated GIFs, I'm talking about a fully fledged web edit of the evenings action, courtesy of Dye, topped off with a track from Simons old school band. Mint. Go take a look. There is even a barspin in there, on a flatbank no less! Whoever said Wednesday was all about tables, turnbars and salty old caunts was wrong. Oh, wait a second...

Suprisingly, there was a good turnout on Wednesday night, despite the damp conditions in pretty much the whole bottom of the bowl. There was just enough room between the slickness to do the usual flyout lines off the nuggets (are there any other lines?). However, the deep end even proved to be to wet for puddle enthusiast Shane, hard times.

Most people decided to grumble and drink rather than ride, Simon managed to grumble and ride, obviously. Dye, Jimmy and the Witch turned up fashionably late, blaming Arsenal traffic - most of which fresh office boy Pete probably caused, by dodging a cold night at the bowl for a Champions League match. Punter. Some Child Catching peado made an appearance, much to everyones delight. Then we went to the pub, that was the best bit.

Team 2000 mainstay, Dom, managed to pull the first Rupert of a Wednesday night (see previous blog for jargon explanation), although the jury is still out on weather it actually counted. Chris and Rob bought some shit chips from the shit Falafel King. Then we advised their prospective (Swedish girl) customers that the Kings chips were in-fact shit and that they should go across the road to buy the better ones. Falafel king man did not look happy. The Poof then decided to live up to his name by telling us that he didn't like the Swedish girls because they didn't look enough like boys. Talk about digging your own grave.

Good turnout on Wednesday night, few new faces, most of the same old faces blah blah. Good times. Turns out the few new faces are involved in this blog and they kindly did a Wednesday Club update of their own. Awesome, saves me a job! Go check out the snaps! Especially the one of da Fritz "learning" no handers. Think that was like his 4th try. Dialled!

The only photo that we managed to rustle up, was this pub shot courtesy of The Poof, and even this was cutting it fine. Talk about slack cunce.

I'm not gonna explain the title, if you don't understand then tough. I like in jokes and alienating readers. Separates the punters from the non-punters.

Short one this week, Jaz sent over some snaps from Wednesday, which was a lovely suprise, so i thought I'd put together a lack luster blog post. Check out Jimmy's wild new line, street innit. Kinda.

Talking of street, i think Robbie Loeber (aka Rupert) is bringing a hop bar setup down next week, so we can have a bunnyhop comp. No street chumps allowed though, that'd spoil Posh Chris' plans of winning.

Things are a bit slow around here at the moment, although that could just be my head running a bit lean after taking a bang to the swede the other day (see pic 3). Wednesday sessions have been running along nicely still, although for some reason the 'street' course seems to see far more attention these days, not that anyone (me) is fussed - just means more room for legitimate riding in the bowl. Plus for the last couple of weeks a fair number of folk have ventured out actual street riding when the park closed, someone got completely the wrong end of the stick there, did they not read the Wednesday club manifesto? Anyroad...

Shane was on some sort of 4 teas with 4 sugars high yesterday, which was actually a welcome change, meant he was talkative and smiling, instead of being the usual miserable specimen. He was piping up about having a back wall aerial comp with Jimmy, which after numerous anti-pump bowl circuits and heckles from the crowd, he lost. "Yeah, but seriously. How high was I really, innit? yeh?".

Check out a few snaps from John and Jaz up there in the usual place. There's a couple more of Dye's pics from last night up on the Union site as well.

In other news, a few of us are having a Wednesday 'lads on tour' trip to Barcelona, starting next Wednesday - to avoid riding street, avoid the pickpockets, but definitely dial in our "drinking a beer on the beach" and "ride to the corner shop for more beer" skills. Expect updates of that nature in around a months time when we finally get our fingers out.

In other, other news, I have ordered a new batch of stickers seen as though the other ran out months back and fair few people have asked about getting one, easily at least 2. Should have those in the not too distant future!

Right, I better rattle this one out or the beak will be texting me all day inquiring about its status, jesus, you can tell he is a web geek, everything has to be done in a split second, maybe he is just panicking and trying to keep this internet fad alive despite the fact we all know its going to die out in about 6 months, just look at myspace...

Anyway... After a rain stopping play last week I was pretty pumped on riding this week, even though it was poor mans trails (concrete park). I think my enthusiasm was mainly due to the fact that I had finally put every last finishing on my new bike, I call it new because its like nothing I have ever had before- dialled. That and the fact I knew I was going to have a good laugh at Shane over his "i hate park rats" claim.

Team 2000's sole representative Dom took my bike for a spin and finally realised the year 2000 is after having a spin on my bike and has now pledged to update his bike before the end of the decade. Exciting times.

Jaz was the camera man for the eve, and he managed some good uns, although a few too many of Ben, but its only to be expected as he is a perpetual show off. I think Ross made my night by dropping a Dazed and Confused quote at the pub, perfect end to the night.... (but where's pete?)

I love them red heads, yes I do...

Yesterday, it rained. So no-one turned up at the bowl. At least that's what I'm guessing here, because myself and 'Posh' Chris went over to Epsom anyway, to check out the 'Oakley Trails Championship' tour (masterminded by Ross Head and Kye) which was making a stop there for the day.

I managed to get down early enough to see some riding and have a peck at showing off (which is obviously gonna fall on deaf ears / eyes when the likes of Robbo, the Forte clan and Lima are present). Chris managed to turn up just as everyone was packing up, obviously his massive parachute was slowing down his journey somewhat. This didn't bother him, as the main reason for his visit was to show off his new look bike, which he has made suprisingly good job of renovating, bar the 'ten to 2' crank positioning. Someone needs to wear his geek goggles at times other than his regular Grand Theft Auto stints.

As I mentioned, the pro's packed up just as Chris arrived, to head off for trip treat mexican meals and plush hotels - Nathan told me the first hotel they all stayed in on the trip had full spa facilities (which he duly took advantage of). Somehow I wasn't in the least bit suprised, Ross had organised all this after all. This departure left us with a bit of time to ride, time for PC to direct iPhone shots of himself, time for a bag of chips and some Polish beer, and time for me to punch Seymour. Or so it would seem.

Keep tuned to the Ride site for updates on the trip, which apparently are daily. I've only seen this one update so far though. Slack!

This one's over a week late, but do we look like we care? Probably a little too much actually.

Last week was a scorcher. Which pretty much meant no-one could be bothered to ride that much, 'cept Shane of course, so you'll have to endure a couple of photo's of him up there. Thanks to Johann for a number of those, you can blame him for the slow response time on this post, week late with the snaps! We do have deadlines to meet young man! Haaa

I have pretty much forgotten what else happened, except the fact that Lemsip made a welcome appearance for a chinwag and beer or four. He is back over from NZ for a brief stint, although unfortunately not riding due to a gammy knee. It's always good to see him!

So, other than that, this is a short one. Look at the snaps and hope the weather stays that way for the foreseeable future. Actually someone told me the other day that it was Autumn already, the pessimistic gobshite.

This past weekend a few Wednesday regulars - or not so regulars if you believe Dye - embarked on a mini trails road-trip to the dull North, accompanied by a couple of Epsom trails transplants. I was concerned that I might just ramble on and write a long winded account of everything that went on, so I sacked that idea off and went with this bullet point run of events and other stuff kinda affair. I feel it works rather well, although it also ended up being pretty long.

Dead baby seat - The trip got off to a good start with the taller and sensibly proportioned amoungst us (everyone else) realising that only Chris could physically fit in the dead baby seat of Ross Heads monster truck. Gutted.

Villij - First stop, nuts trails, built by smaller guys. Seriously the size of the local builders becomes an issue when trees are hitting you in the beak and shoulders throughout the course of a line. Scary stuff. Robbo and Frog are rad as hell though, and it was a treat watching those two shred their local trails, and for letting us turn up and embarrass ourselves! Cheers guys!

Regal - With Ross head on a trip you can't be camping in the filthy mud in the woods, so much to Simons grumbling disgust and everyone else's delight we didn't, we stayed in hotels. The first of which was the 'Sky Plaza' on the sixth floor of a multistory carpark in Leicester. Not so regal.

Leicester - Minging. As soon as I mentioned the place to anyone, they said "oh, that's easily the worst place I've ever been." It was, and I'm from Grimsby. Good curry though.

Las Vegas Fish Bar - What else would you call a Leicestrian kebab shop? Makes sense to me. What about a shopping arcade? Malcom Arcade? Yep, perfect.

Leeds - The bars and our posh apartment. All mint.

Brighouse - Soundest of sound bunch of guys and the smoothest trails you'll ever ride. We really wanted to ride here on the sunday as well, but after hitting the booze a little too hard on the saturday night in Leeds, we decided against it fearing we would kill ourselves, instead we prayed for rain, which didn't come, and fled to London.

Crashing - Most avoided it, but I'm pretty sure i crashed more on this trip than in the last 3 years. Idiot. Once I crashed, winded myself and sounded like this, it was great.

Wingham Locals - If your gonna ride other peoples trails, at least return the favour at least once. If your gonna make up lies, and least get em straight. If you don't want people ringing up asking to ride your spot thats suppose to be on the DL, at least have the brain capacity to realise that maybe you shouldn't be advertising the place all over the internet.

Feral Kittens - Emerging like a small plague from a hole in a wall by one of Leeds fine Pizza establishments and were the most unfriendly animals I have met, what absolute shits.

Crap Trev - Simons new nickname. Appropriate, if you know Trevor. Trevor is better.

In all it was a wicked trip, thanks to all the locals who entertained our presence, to Ross Head for driving and booking the Sky Plaza Hotel, Joe Bailey for a few non iPhone snaps the rain for just about staying away and Chris for having short legs.

Okay, you were going to have the pleasure of Pete writing this blog update, but Denny and Ead-o (aka his parents) are down in London Town for the day, so he had to meet them and claim some "beer tax" from his father. So in his absence you'll have to make do with a weak "we rode a bit then went to the pub" update from me. Dull...

Wednesdays session started out with fruity text messages from Dye, who was pulling a Dayno, while Dayno also kept up to form by pulling yet another Dayno, but with half an excuse of being in Madrid. Johann was deemed designated snapper (see snaps for proof) while Pete was trying his hand at being and iPhone paparazzi peado, skulking around taking spy photos of young girls. Where's that iPhone peado zoom app when you need it?

One surprise was Pete's eagerness to ride, blitzing his past records of about 5 runs with a solid 2 or 3 hours riding! A new leaf? I'm skeptical. What wasn't at all suprising was everyones eagerness to get to the pub, including a few new faces which is always good to see. This weeks watering hole of choice was the Lock Tavern, and a fine choice it was, with most people staying till past twelve and sinking a good 6 pints (unfotunately with any ladyboy chasers) followed by morning rotten gut inducing portion of chips, cheese and chilli sauce, or was that just me and Pete? Hmm, anyway, the In the word's of PC (Posh Chris) "chin chin"

Q: What do you get if you combine 1998 style bars and 2008 style bars?
A: Shanes.

Yep, Shane turned up at a near dry bowl with a combination of the two and enough grips to go round a whole crew of northern street riders. A few runs and snaps later and the rain clouds above started piping up and put a dampner on things, i say dampener but to be honest we have very little interest in actually riding the bowl these days, I mean, trails have been running most weekends and skateparks are a pretty piss poor substitute for mud bumps. A quick stop at the beaks for a few tinnies (and a nose full of the aroma created by a £500 kitten shitting in the shower) while the rain dried up and then back to the park for a heavy 25min session! Ross rolled up halfway though that, telling us he had to tick his tricks off before going to the pub.

With the piss poor excuse of riding out the way it was off to the Hawley Arms, which brought others out of the woodwork inc Johann with the most acidic coloured top this side of wack a day, but in a good way.

To be honest, I hate the Hawley, I think its on the list of places not to bother with again, along with that dire place Johann took us once (sorry Johann...). The Hawley is full of nerds, full stop. I jotted it down in a new section, right after "turning up and not saying hello and just dropping in and trying a tailwhip tyre tap first go" and the 2-3 people we have bullied out of Wednesday, are we that mean? Rumor has it that we are all salty cunts and don't like people coming, which to be honest isn't completely true, that's just Simon and Dye, oh and Ben, on the sly...

This is turning into an essay, and we only have a couple of pics to go with it, oh well, you are prob pretty familiar with the style of pics anyway, what you are less familiar with is two naked people swimming in a canal, I on the other hand, are thoroughly familiar with both...

If there is one thing that Country music has taught me – Don't take a knife to a gun fight, and don't take empty pockets to the pub...

Cooooooor it ain't half hot mum

The sun yesterday, (hottest day of the year?) meant that the session was more about drinking beers and chinwagging than riding - around ten seconds after dropping in, your hands got all sweaty and rendered them useless for holding onto anything more than a cold tin of pop. Nevertheless a few soldiered on and made like it was 1988 with an impromptu high air comp on the 'back wall'. Nobody won anything cos nobody actually got that high. Dissapointing.

Great amusement was had by all and sundry with the discovery that I used to Snakeboard™, in my youth. I'm not going to deny this for a second, but I will add that I was an impressionable 14 year old, lost with what how to reply with when when posed the question shortly "what do you want for your birthday?". I received said Snakeboard™, and soon became the best in my village.

Pub o'clock rolled round later than usual after the Scottish cow forgot to kick us out of the park. So we headed to the Grand Union, where about 3 people bought pints and ten sat drinking 'street beers' from the corner shop on the conveniently placed pub benches. An awesome plan until the barmaid came out to clear up at closing time and found all our empty cans, muttering "This is reeeeaaally bad lads". A collective schoolboy error if ever I had seen one.

Tom "the exception to the, all skaters are ignorant dicks, rule" Crowe, made a new Scottish alcoholic mate at the pub, who was calling him a diamond one minute then telling him was going to kill him the next. Things seemed to take a turn for the better when the old boy ushered Tom to the toilet, to which he replied "oooh, are we gonna go we some drugs?". It turns out that wasn't the plan when the guy tried to headbut him. Although apparently, he "couldn't help eeeeet. Ahhm from Glasgewwwwww". Help what? Being an alcoholic c*nt? I beg to differ.

I was having a little hunt online for the rules for Cantelowes skatepark to see if they permit a BBQ when i came across this post by a skater on an unoffical Cantelowes park website - www.cantelowesskatepark.co.uk

"An awful lot of bikers at Cantelowes last night who've clearly commandeered Wednesday evenings for their own. I was, I must admit, a tad disgruntled, and started to speculate on the relationship between skaters and bikers. Is it mutualistic (a relationship between two species of organisms in which both benefit from the association), or parasitic (a relation between organisms in which one lives as a parasite on another)? If mutualistic, where, I pondered, were the BMX parks, lobbied for by BMX users, which skateboarders could also use? Would a BMX park be identical to a skate park? Where were the biker-produced 'Save the Southbank' documentaries? I e-mailed the council asking if there were any plans to build a BMX park. The council responded that there were no such plans, though they thought a BXM park would be a great facility for Camden, and that they had not had any contact specifically from BMX users wanting their own facility. Clearly those skaters who get things done perceive the relationship to be mutualistic, presumably on the basis that requests for skate facilities carry more weight if those facilities can be demonstrated to be of use to other user groups. Are they right to do so though, or does this merely demonstrate a lack of confidence in the discipline of skateboarding - that it needs to be packaged up with a series of other sports to make it more attractive? To the question then - is the link between skaters and bikers an asset to skaters, or is the biker an intransigent and exploitative partner who should be booted out of the marriage bed?!"

If you cant be bothered to read all that let me paraphrase it for you- "Whinge, whinge, bloody whinge".

It reads like an A level biology paper by a guy who was only able to stop concentrating on pissing his pants for long enough to pick up two technical words and still goes nuts when his mum mixes his alphabet spaghetti with his chicken dippers.

Its going to be a real black eye for this sissy when we plan to commandeer tonight royally, with the intention to buy a bbq from tescoooos to add some flavour to the evening, that and some beers no doubt.

Bloody 'ell!

Talk about opening a can or worms, start a casual blog and before you know it you are getting it in the neck for not enough updates, the wrong type of up dates, iphone photos and suspect photoshop work, and there I was thinking it was all just a bit of fun?

Well to keep all the grumblers stocked up here is one more day late iphone/photoshop bonanza for ya.

As its now what passes for a summer over in ol' Blighty Wednesday sessions have been overspilling on to other days to such an extent a sunday supplement is needed. With Simon phoning folks the eve before with instructions to bring BBQ stuff It was bound to be a good session down Epsom. I proved everyone wrong, as per usual, by cooking burgers from frozen without letting the coals go white- black on the outside, white on the inside, just like Obama, and it all evens out. While tucking into said burgers I witnessed Rosshead getting absolutely wild, Jimmy successfully doing lines that don't work and I might of even heard Dye have a little grumble about something, if you can believe that, sadly I was too busy kicking back eating my double cheese burgers to respond with my "out of office auto reply" in full effect...

Right, i'm off to turn up the "good" knob and turn down the "suck" knob in photoshop, any jokes about sucking knobs will be ignored as I am all growns up .

This is a late one. I'm blaming Chris though after he stated "oh, I'll write the blog post for Wednesdays session, ill do it this evening, I can come up with something good". This was last Thursday afternoon. It's now monday. Anyone would thing we had lives or jobs or something.

Pretty chilled session this (last) week. Although a video camera was flapping about in the short arms of Chris G. Looks like we are making a web video, talk about bandwagon jumping. Dunno when you will see that one appear, but basically it will be a moving image version of the same turndown, turnbar, table photos you see here every week. Perfect.

Go look at the photo's above anyway, even though you have probably seen some of 'em elsewhere already, because we took so long in firing this blog up. Slackers!

Well first off, I'm bloody glad I booked today off work I can tell ya...

It was Jere's last wednesday session and it all seemed a bit weird at the bowl, grey skies and being more used to riding trails, we were all a bit over it, even Now then Ben wasnt his usual Bee-in-a-Tin-can and kept the wafting about to a below average amount.

I tried to relieve the tedium of riding skateparks by doings tricks resulting in the predictable spill and signature swellbow. On the upside, the constant hammering of the right side of my body (dislocated collar bone, broken elbow, repeated knocks) and some would say – shorter than average limbs, has left me with the near un heard of ability to lick my own elbow, a really fucking useful skill I can tell you.

Luckily 9 o'clock rolled round pretty quick and we could stop pretending to enjoy riding our bikes and head down to the pub for a few drinks to toast to Jere's deparure. Dayno even did a reverse Dayno and came along with his pocket money to listen to Si grumble like a miserable old man and art direct various shots from this blog.

The crowd was thinning and once the Hawley kicked out we ambled to the Proud Galleries where we were not feeling the large que nor the £8 to get in (yes we are tight). After an already longish night of showing off I figured I could sort this problem so I sauntered over to the girl with the guest list sheet and in an altogether cadish manner enquire if we were on it , and if not, although we didnt know who's guest list it was we prob should be, and for some strange reason she concurred – on the promise I bought her a drink later on.

Safe in the knowledge that I would never see the young lady again, let alone have to make good on the promise of the drink, we all descended into the bowels of the proud Gallery where Jere said his fond farewells to England...

Ello ello, what do we have here? The combination of Ben being away, shitty weather (cast your mind back..) and my increasingly heavy workload – not to mention suspect characters lurking on grassy knolls, blogs have been a bit thin on the ground over the last month. I know you are all missing the endless pics of 45 degree bar turns mixed in with a few tables and the odd turn down so here are a few from a week or so ago featuring House of Pain taking photos while wearing sunglasses, a real genius move that one, like.

But more importantly, and the real reason for actually bucking the fuck up and firing out a couple of paragraphs of waffle – it's Jere's last week in sunny old England before he heads back to Finland so lets see if we can all make it this eve and give him a jolly good send off... Bowl, Beers, Hawley....

See you there.

Im sitting here, kicking back with Scott Miller playing on youtube its grey out and i'm beat, the weekend just gone was worth it though. After a shitter of a bank holiday Monday (at work 10-10 after getting home at 9.30am from lunchtime drinks the day previous) I took the last day of the week off and headed to some rocky 'ol goat paths and met up with everyones favourite Arayn princess- Adam Borrer, for some digging. Ian, Tinhead, Worthing Jake and leader of the soft troupe Richard "Soft" Stacey were all present too.

After dialling in a good few jumps we headed back to Brighton to hit a house party where Wingham Will proceeded to tell every girl he could I was 30 and cover the entire house with talc, bloody kids! The long walk home as the sun rose was also not appreciated. I was so over digging sat and swore not to touch a spade the whole day (ended up putting one landing up a bit... but that barely counts) so just rode non stop and made Will look like the old timer while he hobbled about pissing and moaning about being tired. Some of sheet turned up, with a bundle of folks with slightly dubious credentials but all seemed alright (millford?) as well as Elwood from Seventies who had a tiny fall and a massive break, followed by 2 days in the local hospital, get well soon man.

After jumping on a train back to london for another party I passed out at said party at about 11 30 and went home to bed so I had enough energy for Wingham on Sunday which was fast and rad as hell, no if we can just have some rain those last sets will be finished, after rain in May? Whatever next? (Where were the april showers ey?).

Oh dear god, this is only my second blog actually doing it myself and Ben is not here to correct any daft mistakes I make, am I about to mess up the entire blog? Who knows? Who cares? I know Simon wouldn't because he is too busy on www.schoolboypilitics.com

Anyway... a week a go da fritz gave me a few copies of The Source's "Deal with it!" DVD, which I was after because I knew it had a few clips of Spooks on it. Turns out the DVD is pretty good for a shop dvd, decent riding and good editing, a bit too much street but its no NSF which was essentially 30 minutes of throwing bags of spanners down stairs at a slow pace.

I did plan to put them on ebay and make a small killing but he said something about giving them to other folks so shotguns in the comments...

Fewer numbers, fewer marbles, more punctures, more wind. Not that any of this stopped us having a jolly good time.

Un-local colour enthusiast Jimmy Rushmore showed up, claiming he he had been "smoking pot longer than Dan Lacey had been riding bikes", and managed to look more of a local in 1 run than all the locals could manage in 10. Pete made an appearance, for the first time in what seems like months, took more runs than John then went home to leave a log in my toilet. 10 flushes! Other notable events included Shane managing to escape being humbled by the 'back wall' by the skin of his pearly whites. I swear he is going to be 8ft out before that day comes.

Oh, went managed to go to a different watering hole after riding this week, namely the Hawley Arms, which seemed to go down well with all concerened. More of that next time please.

According to master twig and berry protester, Simon; Shane is going to be "better than us soon". Which I think is a compliment and a concern combined. Other Wednesday night words of wisdom from Whitlock (yes, today is alliteration day) featured his conclusion that "Wednesday Blog is shit" and "all that marketing fashion show rubbish is shit." Unfortunately I'm going to Thailand, so Chris is going to be at the helm of this behemoth for a few weeks. Which only means more cardigans, more marketing fashion rubbish and more country music. Have fun.

Another wednesday, another post about the fact that we went to the bowl then the pub. Suprised? Me neither.

Numbers were slightly down this week, not that we are counting, although that could be blamed on Chris for his group email earlier in the day suggesting a 'street' ride after the bowl, instead of the pub, that'd definately scare off even the most hardened street nuts. Which given Benson's reply of "pub sounds better", I think it did.

Despite preaching the mannaisance to whoever will listen, Chris failed to live up to his own hype and take another go at an an alley-oop out the deep end transfer. Nearly going aye-oop 360 to fakie by accident obviously shook his mesh be-hatten head a little. That's two scares in 2 weeks. What's next? Flair to bitchcrank to barspin to baseplate? No, that's Mark Webb's job.

Johann made an appearence, hot off witnessing his hero, Craig Campbell in the bowl over the weekend, and stoked on EMER clothing's relaunch. More on that soon. Roots.

Photos of the same tricks are up there. Plus a stow-away.

Following in the tradition of the last two posts and coupled with my inability to find anything else to write about other than the friggin weather, Summer seems to be well and truly here.

I'm basing this decision on the fact that it was still warm enough at beer o'clock (9pm) after the miserable Scottish park warden stopped her picnic saving long enough to kick us out of the park, for us to sit outside the pub with a cold beer or two. And sit outside the pub with a cold beer we did, all 20* odd of us.

Another bumper session was had, with a decent crowd (literally) and plenty of scabby shins on show. There's something about the warm weather that makes people want to sit and drink beer rather than ride. Not that I care, means there is more chance for me to show off. Shane made a welcome, brief, and surprisingly chirpy appearance with a birthday present paint-job and a couple more feet of air on the 'back wall', wet tyres and all. Ryhso, another one who isn't adverse to a bit of wet tread action, must have been tricked by the sun into thinkng he was back home, either that or he had heatstroke, whatever it was he was certainly shredding.

Team 2000 finally earned their stripes, well, badges.... well actually, stickers. And celebrated by playing a game of SKATE. Surely that should be BMX, or BIKE or something more fitting? No? Okay... Chris took Eddie Cleveland's seat on a Gary Young esq lipslide / air all the way over the love seat from the deep end 1/4. Unfortunately no-one captured the trick, or the mortified look on his face. Let's see that one again next week yeah?

Snaps up there. Click click.

*Estimated figure.

Will just linked me to this video of Wingham getting dialled/run in. looking pretty good. Lets see if the trains are actually working for once, so i can get out there this weekend...

Summer is well and truly on the way, last nights jaunt down at the bowl saw t-shirts all round and a slew of fresh faces. Well, not so much fresh, pretty haggard to be fair, but new ones none the less. A pretty good, and pretty legitimate turnout overall.

Wednesday regular Da Fritz was again in attendance and blasting, naturally. Norwich was pretty well represented, even without Team 2000 and a fair gaggle out-of-towners were present. Chris didn't ride due to his downside (?) tailwhip (flyout) injury last week, and instead spent the time finishing off his school photo assignment.

The usual post bowl, pub o'clock, was in record breaking swing, with about 15 drinkers. And John.

One dissapointing side to the evening was the disctint lack of any sort of Shane sighting. Where was he? Answers on a postcard (in the comments).

Well this one is easy, John has done an update on last nights shenanigans over on the Union site, so I'm just going to link you through to that instead of writing a replica. Oh, and we didnt leave early cos we are soft, we went to the pub, that's manly. Dear god, I sound like Chris. Speaking of which, he rolled his foot pretty bad last night after trying fly-out whips, which serves him right. There is a time and place for those things (infamously Cockmaster in Sheffield 5 years ago)

Wait a minute, this is turning into an update. Cheerio!

Now then, now then, now then. The sun's out! The ground is dry and my new iPhone tilt shift photo application is working a treat (liar). All this after everyone was dismissing this week as washout, even MetCheck is on our side today, which is somewhat of a revelation.

Bowl from 6 (ish)? I'm in...

Bit of a late showing last night, it might of had something to do with all the stinking lay about freeloading hippies piping up about things, maybe if they spent less time listening to regGAY music and making home made T shirts with such insightful slogans as "cops everywhere, justice nowhere" and spent more time on not having dreadlocks, buying some soap and actually getting a job - the economy wouldn't of collapsed in the first place. Oh well.

Good times were had once everyone showed up. Shane was complaining about his free frame which was rather good of him, I think if someone gives you something for free you should def complain a fair bit about it, that or sell it on for a profit, who do we know who did that?

Now the more astute of you may have noticed a suspect number of wheels in one of the pics above, well yes, after fixed gears we have stooped yet again and included skating, from a certain Mr Tom Crowe who somehow everybody knows. Tom is from Norwich too (one of 5 people last night) and is prob the wildest guy on a board or bike I know.

There are also rumours of a Wednesday away trip, on a Sunday, on big bikes, round the countryside, with a hamper of cheese and frequent stops for pints of stout, lets see how that one pans out, chin chin....

I had pretty much sacked off any hope of riding on Wednesday night, after a day full of gusty winds and rain. But following half an hour of sitting at home, feeling guilty that I wasnt at the bowl, I decided to trek the Tour De France stage rivaling distance from my house, only to find that everyone else had also decided to sack it off too. A much different scene from the past few weeks club night, only Shane, Leon, Mick, Andi and Ashley had braved the winds.

Despite the shit house riding conditions I did manage to catch up with the eagerest bowl dwellers latest tales, aboard his new bike - "09 Trinity innit" - which was sporting the Ractcatchers ripped off earphones around the handlebars. Apparently these were acquired during a recent scuffle he had with his favourite date raper. No, not rapper.

That's it. Weak club night = weak update.

Oh, in fashion news, it seems the Simon Whitlock look has become even more en-vogue. A headless version the speccy farmer was caught modelling in Urban Outfitters this week (see photo 3).

"You've spelt 'life' wrong Shane?"
"Nah, it's just quicker to spell that way innit."

Shane, always weary of pressing time constraints. Maybe it was so he had enough time to get a quick ride in, build yet another new frame up and revise for his maths test before bedtime? However, last night was less about Shane, and more about Fids, or Da Fritz or Finnish Mark. Boosting about as high as I have ever seen anyone boost down the bowl. Good show!

Chris and Dayno (in summertime attire) were attempting some over / under antics until our man from the land down under bust his sprocket. Livid. I think it's those massive legs, no sprocket would put up with those things, 'cept maybe one of these. Someone dropped a marble in the bowl a few times, pretty much putting a halt on things. Which, coupled with a chilly evening breeze sent us packing to the pub earlier than the scheduled 9pm slot - only to find some obnoxious sod had locked his MTB to our tree! Damn cyclists.

Photos are up there, get clicking!

P.S. Sorry for the late update. Work, excuses, busy, excuses, lazy, excuses, eating, blah blah.

As if it needs to be said, Wednesday club is full steam ahead and chocks away. Suns out people so there is no sorry excuse for any one being soft and not coming.

The usual nerd division are confirmed, as are Team 2001. Bowl and beers, and prob a little bit of screwball scramble in a somewhat tepid manner.

Don't forget to ask 'The Beak' about Pete Doherty getting knocked "the fuck" out.

After a mention on Defgrip last week this weeks update had best be a good one - shame it was given to me, then. (in joke)

So last nights session got off to a roaring start, with some big lines that I have not yet seen at the bowl, fired out courtesy of Kye Forte. At the other end of the spectrum, Shane (dut watch dat), was going mad for the camera. However, I was going mad for the 16 year old girls football team, good job they're caged in, otherwise the five-o would have be there quicker than teddy can mention himself in a conversation... Do you know what the main reason for peadophilia is? Sexy children!

Cameras were out in force and blog update's were the main talking point of the evening. However beer wasn't, last night everyone seemed to have an excuse for why they couldn't head down the boozer. The pub session turned into a male version of 'Sex and the City' (without long noses and big warts like that slag on there) with Donny telling his tales of online dating.

Check out the snaps, especially Shanes lookback, clicked!

Now then! The weather looks good for one of our infamous 'Wednesday Club' meetings this evening, so long as you ignore Metchecks unfaltering, pessimistically soggy view of the country. Miserable sods.

Bowl from 6, pub from 9?

In intergeek related news, I added a special 'Simon' button or two over there (looks right), so he can filter out all of that 'marketing bollocks' which we put on here. Sound.

Coor blimey gov it was nippy...

While one wed club member was enjoying a Tina Turner gig at the O2 arena with a gay paki a good number took a notably more manly approach to Wed night entertainment inc. big hitters: Dye, The Marv and Fenlon.

The big shock of the night, apart from Dyes multiple runs, was actually being able to convince Ben to put his bike down for 10 seconds to get some snaps of other people, "But if I'm taking pictures like 'ow can they be of me like?" sorry Ben, we needed some snaps of other people too, like.

Here's the usual array of bar turn snaps and a snap shot of petes night elsewhere.

Shit hot.

Ello ello, radio silence has been the order of the day here, what with all this work stuff going on hence slim pickings on the blog front. expect things to buck up from next week, oh, whats that? you dont give two shits either way? fair point.

Weather is looking ok for this eve, so lets call it on and see ya down the bowl. for now have a bunch of iphone overflow snaps from last week.

Oh, also, private view at Concrete Hermit tomo night, MWM Graphics exhibition, 6 til 9, chin chin!

Yeah yeah, I know the more astute of you will realise that header/thumbnail needs an apostrophe in there, but it looked ugly, okay?

Word seemed to have got out about Club night, last nights session saw 20+ attendees, which has it's good and bad points - primaraly the fact that there is less deck space for no-handers to manuals, aye Shane? Speaking of shane, he kindly introduced us to 'Flat Pannies on the back wall' last night too, whatever they are. A fully fledged walking (urban)dictionary that kid!

A few decades were very well represented, which is always nice to see. Dom and Donny made an appearence for the second week running, straight out of 2001. Trevor and Simon - unfortunatly without Moonmonkey - made the trip from the 90's and I think one of Dexy's Midnight Runners got Eileen to drive 'em up from the early 80's too, specially for the session. Priviledged!

Plenty of eager beavers got their stunts on, all be them the same 4 stunts that appear everytime we run photos on this blog. Simon managed to keep his dripped-up, infected arm intact. Yeah, riding with a drip in your arm is the new fashion kids, get on it! If you can't get your local GP to hook you up, just shove snapped off bit of biro in there, it'll do the trick. As per usual, we headed to the pub for a few light beverages afterwards. Plans were even discussed to sample some different watering holes for future post ride drinks, not to sure on that one. People don't like change.

The usual array of snaps are loitering up there, take a peek! See you next week.

It's Wednesday, it's grey (meaning the logo actually turned out to be pretty appropriate) but it's dry, and I could do with some stunts and beer. Who is in for a Club night this evening?

I hear Simon may even be about, after he has endured a tough few weeks fighting off refugees, avoiding meat and banishing gangrene in hospital. Treats. Ask him nicely and he may even show you his new prototype Bicycle Union wallet...

Now then, Now then... (as Ben and Pete would say).

A good Wednesday session, with plenty of "posh London kids" (Mike Netley 19/02/09), only left turn was giving "street" a go and bashing my bike into ledges until I broke the chain. Great. Street riding is like shit hop scotch and only suitable for cock snoggers and whizz plankers, which is pretty much the same thing?

We missed the last train home but picked up a drunk girl for the ride, who felt Dom's bench shaking farts where a great ice breaker. After fending off a big gumby she was left with the clinical Chris Hill-Scott, did he or did he not clench the deal? Who knows?

The obligatory photos are all above, non of this "after the jump" nonsense, whats that all about? Who is doing the jumping? Ok hip hop, wind your neck in, no one is...

Shit hot.

Surprisingly enough, after England going completely to shit because of 3 inch's of snow last week, we managed to get a ride in over the weekend. Although, not without a struggle and a few words with the council / parks dept, who had decided the park wasn't gonna open on Saturday due to one of the inspectors (jobs worth's) slipping over on some black ice in the bowl! They had been to check it out in the early morning (when it was still about -2 degrees) and decided it was unsafe, so never unlocked the gates - instead of doing something normal, like putting some salt on the ice, or clearing it up. Useless. That bowl has a puddle in the bottom of the deep end 350 days of the year and it's open every single one of them!

After all this hot air, we still managed to get a good Saturday afternoon session in, despite the presence of some pretty questionable characters. We even managed a few iPhone snaps which have been generously displayed for your perusal above. Sunday also saw some more bowl action, with a pretty big turnout, but I was pre-occupied with showing off, so I forgot about taking any photos. Where's those damn photographers when you need em!

With the whole country wetter than the average Guardian reader, bike themed action is few and far between. Simon and I took a trip out to Wingham to slap some mud about with the locals (Will, Louie and Pete). A pretty good berm got whipped up and a lip in the Nick Jagger line got near finished too (yes, thats Nick not Mick, his lesser known brother). I love digging in woods, it makes you feel like a big man, even more so than watching 300 or Sin city and doing push ups. Is it about time the Manaissance was mentioned?

So to punctuate the posts about "packaging companies" (Simon Whitlock, read a book that isnt the right wing hippy handbook you speccy twat) we have some digging photos from Crazy Pete at Wingham, featuring a grown man, in shorts, at this time of year...

Good times.

Wed club regular (sideline coffee slurper) John Dye went over to Europe on a combined Union and Movment jaunt. The trip was pretty eventful, with numerous van break downs and weather that only a cod would be happy with. Check out the web edit, plus a photo feature just here (alternatively just click the thumbnail). Oh, the video is available in HD too, so give that little icon on the player a click!

Okay, less of the 'slim chance' it's more like 'no chance' on the riding front, for a club session this evening. Bloody England. Although, to be fair, we have been spoilt with the two previous dry Wednesdays in a row, in January. Maybe next week then.

Here's two links to keep you occupied on such a beautifully grey day: Some people with a Caravan problem. Plus, this guy, who must have some skills, nothing to do with just putting your foot to the floor, honest.

Strong turn out for a late January session. Near all the regulars, fresh convert Dayno, local hood rats, plus 2 Morgan Wade impersonators.

Robin Fenlon made an appearence and after diving into the bowl to do his warm up routine in front of everyone (5 push ups, 7 an a half sits ups and half a dozen star jumps), he got looser than an oppressed housewife at a swingers party. Shane tells us Robin did both 'T' and 'D' whips, whatever they maybe.

Meanwhile, Ben and I art directed sticker placement with the aid of our iHandy level iPhone aps, funs all very well and good, but you need some rules!

After some tall tales in the pub and a few slip ups in George's repertoire we jumped the train straight home only to bump into a few more riders who were at uni somewhere and oh so high on life. Uni folks are brilliant, they are all ernest and still believe in things and really care, so when you tell them you are first year on some lame media course they are full of pithy words of slightly condescending advice, delivered with thinly veiled smugness - bless the little scamps.

Wednesday.

Yeah, it's Wednesday, the suns out and I can't see a cloud in the sky (well that's a bit of an exaduration). Who is in for a full club meeting, including beers afterwards at the usual watering hole?

Now then. John sent through a small selection of shots taken at Camden bowl over the course of the year of t' rat, so I thought I'd put up a quick post with them on. Check out the sky in a couple of them, it's blue! Haven't seen that in god knows how long! Roll on summer - I have heard rumours that this years is gonna be a treat!

Finally! After a few weeks of rain, wind and some blokes birthday, we managed to get a wednesday night session squeezed in. There was a pretty good turnout, including most of the the usual crowd (except those who were building refugee camps or grinding blocks). Plus, there were a few new faces present, which is always good to see. Two parts of team Japan were down - including Kase, for his last ever Cantelowes session before he heads back to Tokyo! That is gonna be a sad loss to the scene, Kase is definately a good old egg. Dye made a flying visit, and couldn't even muster up one run - although he was pleading injury, so he can be let off this time I guess. Staple bowl dweller Shane still has a disregard for the pond in the deep end, and obviously aint riding too much street at the moment - his Laser cut hub guards seemed to be absent.

The winter chill kicked in around 9, so we continued the session in the pub, although numbers had dwindled by that point. It seems that word has got out about Wed nights, as the usually empty Grand Union was pretty rammed.

I'm not really sure what else to write, maybe next time I should compile a list of tricks, people like reading about that kind of thing right?? Chris and Chris took a few snaps, click the image and have a peep.

Dun watch dat indeed. "Cantelowes' unofficial bike night, now has very official looking stickers. Not my words, the words of Ride BMX UK magazine.

Anyway, enough of the vague Partridge references, we got some stickers made up and they look pretty shit hot. Available to deserving club members in Cyan, Magenta, Yellow and White. Check the snap for an example of how well these caunts stick to stuff.

What the hell is Wednesday? Well if you wanna scan your eyes a little to the right on this page, there is a brief synopsis. Although in retrospect that probably doesn't actually tell you all that much.

The initial plan is that we are gonna update this thing every Thursday, weather that actually transpires is a another matter, but at least the thought is there. So check back soon for updates on the latest Wed club sessions at the bowl (probably accompanied with photos of turndowns, tables or moto-airs), photos of beers, art related stuff and anything else that we think might be of interest.